Institute for Girls’ Development

  "In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying, thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices." ~ Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love.

  An abundance of gratitude essays have found their way into blogs and e-newsletters across the land. Griping Your Way to Gratitude by Juliet Funt is one of my favorites. Humorous and honest, Juliet candidly acknowledges it’s not always easy to nurture gratitude in tough, even tragic, times. “It has been my experience over and over that after I am heard and witnessed in what is difficult, gratitude can finally flow with more authenticity.”

  Griping well: Ever practical, Juliet provides tips for productive venting. If you need to get something out, vent to only one person at a time. Be careful not to get stuck in ruminating about complaints and grievances. And, consider griping twice – “once to get the story and feelings out;” and once to engage in what Juliet calls “Constructive Complaining” with the person who can do something about the problem. (Check out her website and e-news for more!)

  Practicing gratitude: OK, now that you’ve given yourself permission to gripe if you need to, how do you add in gratitude? Like shooting hoops or playing the piano, we get better with practice! This point was brought home at our Thanksgiving table. On each plate, before we passed the food, we found a gratitude card and a glitter pen for writing and drawing. Family members made lists, wrote poems, drew pictures and shared. Not that it was a competition, but my two nephews, ages 8 and 10, outshone all of us with their enthusiasm & creativity.

  When I commented on this to their mom, Terri, she said, “we’ve been practicing!” Starting last summer, each night at dinner they write entries in a gratitude journal. At first, Terri said, the expressions of thanks were the obvious things you expect (or hope for) – family, friends, the dog, chocolate. But as the days went on, it was obvious the boys were thinking about gratitude, collecting experiences throughout the day to add to the journal at night. The hummingbird nest on the porch. The cloud formation that looked like a clown. They were practicing – everyday.

  The Challenge - Accepting Expressions of Gratitude: Sooner or later someone will express thankfulness to us – for who we are, for something we’ve done. How often do we push that away – or counter it under our breath? “Oh, that was no big deal.” “If they really knew me, they’d never say that.” What if we simply said “thank you?” What if we made the effort to mindfully take in and accept their appreciation of what we have offered to the table of life? A sweet practice to add to living gratefully.

  The philosopher Cicero called gratitude the parent of all virtues. Interestingly, modern psychological research affirms the wisdom of the ages, finding the practice of gratitude associated with happiness and helpful in managing stress. If you are unsure of where to start, try griping your way to gratitude, practicing gratitude, saying thank you. Let the words of Albert Schweitzer inspire, “each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

  “Again! Again!”

  Those words were either music to your ears as you reread your child’s favorite book for the 365th time or pure torture as you struggled through a clunker.

  Classic children’s books are the ones that parents don’t mind reading again and again because [they] “have a story that appeals to all ages,” said Shaelyn Koops, owner of Blue Chair Children’s Books in Glendora. “You grow with it.”

  Shaelyn is right, and we have a stack of classic holiday children’s books to prove it. Daughter Cynthia is now 20, but every year she can’t wait to dust off the collection, curl up by the fire and read them over and over again.

  It’s been a decade since we’ve indulged in our annual family tradition of adding at least one new holiday book to the collection, so I sought recommendations from our local experts: the owners and managers of the four independently owned children’s book stores in the San Gabriel Valley.

  Here are a few of their favorites:

  Drummer Boy by Lauren Long:
This book is a favorite of both Kris Vreeland, manager of Vroman’sChildren’s Section, and Blue Chair owner Shaelyn  Koops. Both agree  that the beautiful illustrations and timeless story make it a classic.

  The Gingerbread Pirates   by Kristin Kladstrup and Matt Tavares: Sometimes we want our hearts to be touched, and other times we need to have our funny bones touched. Gingerbread Pirates is guaranteed to get you laughing, according to both Carrie at Vroman’s and the online recommendations from Mrs. Nelson’s. They call it “hilarious” and “pure fun.”

  The Night Before Christmas (Tenth Anniversary Edition)by Clement Clarke Moore, Illustrated by Jan Brett: Our home library includes a half dozen of Brett’s richly illustrated books, including this lush rendering of the Clement Clark Moore classic. All of our local book sellers love this one.

  Santa Claus the World's Number One Toy Expert by Marla Frazee: Caldecott Medal winning writer/illustrator Marla Frazee is a local hometown girl. If that’s not enough to get you interested in this book, a favorite of Vroman’s Vreeland, consider that Horn Book calls it “effortlessly clever.”

  A Christmas Carol, illustrated by PJ Lynch (of “Unfortunate Events” fame): Carrie at Vroman’s counts this among her favorites, as does San Marino Toy and Book manager, Candace Marino. Candace adds that this book, along with two other classics – Gift of the Magi and The Christmas Miracle – are being package in a gift set for $40, “a good value.”

(And for more picks from Mrs. Nelson’s go to the holiday books section on the Website.)

  Our recommendations? Visit the independent children’s bookstore closest to you, corner one of the managers or owners and share the passion. Don’t forget to bring along your favorite young lover of books for a test read.

  What’s YOUR favorite holiday book? And is there a Hanukkah book that is a classic in your house? Please let us know at orangecatfamilyfun@gmail.com.

  Susan’s Pick: Too Many Tamales I once looked at children’s book authors and illustrators as rock stars. It was hard not to gush like a groupie when I handed over a favorite book for an autograph.

  One of my favorite “rock stars” was Gary Soto, author of Too Many Tamales, the charming story of cousins who eat “too many tamales” while they search for a diamond wedding ring that they believe has slipped into the masa. At the time, the story was ground breaking in its depiction of a middle-class Mexican American family.

  Years ago, when I found out that Soto was going to be at Every Picture Tells a Story Bookstore, I gathered up my books, my own family and two other families to meet the author.

  One of those friends, who was on the board of the Bi-Lingual Foundation for the Arts , was so charmed by the story that she recommended that the Foundation adapt the book into a musical play. They did just that and now, a dozen years and hundreds of tamales later, the play is still going strong in the 99-seat theatre. (It even caught the attention of the New York Times last year.)

  You don’t have to be Latino to appreciate the book, the play . . . or a good tamale.

  The Orange Cat is finicky about its publishing schedule, but will tweak it just a bit for the upcoming holidays. The next newsletter will be published on Friday, Dec. 18.

  We'll resume our regular schedule of publishing the newsletter on the 2nd and 4th Fridays of the month in the New Year. Look for The Orange Cat in your email inbox on Jan. 10 and Jan. 22, 2010.

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